We’re doomed!



„Mi, we need to talk!“


„Mi, do you hear me?“

„Yes. Whatever it is, keep it to yourself.“

„No, Mi, this is important! Mi, hear me out, we’re in this together. We’re…“

„We’re cellmates. That’s all. And as I see it, you depend much more on me than I depend on you. So: What? Do? You? Want? Now?“

„I… I don’t want anything. I want… Mi, didn’t you hear it?“

„Hear what?“

„News from outside this morning!“

„What can be so shocking?“

„Death! The Apocalypse! It’s coming. The end is near! Mi, we’re doomed!“

„Sure, sure. Good one.“

„Mi, I’m not joking! It’s a virus. It spreads like crazy. I heard it reached a cell in sector G last night!“

„A virus? Well, sector G is far away. They won’t let it come here.“

„Mi, are you dumb or something? A virus! We should be worried! Damn, we should be hysterical!“

„You ARE hysterical, Ri. We’ve seen viruses before. Admit it, you are just worried about your ‚business‘. Your little ‚production line‘ there.“

„I try to keep us alive! I always did. That keeps me busy all day.“

„Keep us alive? With your little gadgets? That strange stuff you build from your stupid plans?“

„Why do we talk about that now? Mi, a virus is coming! We will die!“

„We WILL die… if you don’t let me do my work, Ri. It doesn’t need a virus…“

„Mi, you are an idiot! You… you’ll see! You’ll see and then it’s too late!“




„I… I can hear it coming, Mi.“

„Aargh! You… wait… I hear something, too. This… wait… Ly? Ly?! Do you hear that, too?“

„Ly is sleeping. I tried to alarm him before I even asked you. Couldn’t get Ly awake. Probably overgorged.“


„Mi, do you hear the screaming?“

„Yes, Ri, of course, I hear the screaming. Seems to come from inside the next cell.“

„The next cell? All over here from sector G to the next cell in a wink? We’re totally doomed! It comes for us! Help! HELP!“

„Sh…shut up! Want to lure it to us? Nobody’s going to help us. If they didn’t stop it by now, they probably won’t before it reaches us.“

„It? Lure it? Are you crazy, Mi? It’s a virus! It’s not that this thing is alive. It cannot hear us. It spreads! It multiplies and it spreads. Exponential growth, Mi! EXPONENTIAL GROWTH!“



„I guess you are right, Ri.“

„Ha! You admit it! I am right! I was right from the beginning!“

„Yes, Ri.“

„We’re doomed!“


„? Say something, Mi!“

„Shhh! Didn’t you hear that?“

„What? What now, Mi?“

„That popping sound.“

„Um… yeah… was… was that the virus?“

„The neighboring cell collapsed.“

„Collapsed?!? How can a cell collapse?“

„Because of the virus.“

„The virus collapsed the cell? How can a virus…?“

„Not ‚a‘ virus, Ri, many of them. As you said: Exponential growth!“



„Don’t shh me! Don’t shh me ever again!“

„Shh… it’s there! Outside. I hear it scratching…“

„Scr… Scratching, Mi?“

„Yes, Ri, scratching on the receptors of our cell.“

„Recept… Mi, what are you talking about?“

„The receptors on the cell membrane. I can feel it in the cytoplasm.“

„Uh… Mi… Mitochondria, I’m scared!“

„Don’t be, Mr. Ribosome, you will not die. You’ll be busy building viruses soon.“